CBT

Before too long, I hope, I'm due to start a programme of treatment -- or, more accurately, a programme of learning how to manage CFS. It'll include cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and pacing, which I understand is the recommended approach. My reading so far (see previous post) suggests that these methods teach you how to work within your limits and gradually extend them.

Perhaps I'm prejudging here, but am I the only one who feels a bit doubtful about this? Take CBT. It teaches you how to recognize and change negative thoughts, so that you learn alternative ways of thinking about your condition. So who exactly decides which thoughts are negative?

For example, I mentioned I've been reading patient group websites. They're very positive, very encouraging -- and after a while I found them incredibly depressing. All those kind well-meaning words from friendly groups inviting me to join in, to take heart, to accept my altered situation and think positive. You dear kind people, I know you're right, but I don't want to be a patient! I get the creeps when invited to join any group; that's just the way I am.

Even if I could, I don't want to change my personality to fit somebody else's idea of what's good! It feels too much like social control, or mind control. There should be room for all kinds of people, even grumpy antisocial ones!

What I want is not to have this bloody thing. Two in a thousand: that's an estimate of how common CFS is. Why do I have to be one of the two?